The Revision Project: Growing Up Is Not For Sissies

Recently, I’ve noticed that people have a fascination with the idea of asking for advice from their younger or older self.. What would you say to your younger self/older self or what would they say to you, etc. During the recent rough patch of figuring out my future, I decided that it would be a good idea to write letters to my present self, from my future self. Not only that, but after writing the letters, I sealed them and wrote “to be read on this day in 2023.” I’m curious to see if the advice my ‘future’ self gave my ‘present’ self will have changed by the time the year 2023 rolls around. Even though I do not know what lies ahead, it was comforting to hear advice from my own voice, rather than the hundreds of other voices I was going to for direction. Sometimes, you just need to listen to your own voice.

Following that pattern, I decided it would be fun (and slightly embarrassing) to look through the blog posts I wrote from the beginning of the blog, which was started when I was fifteen. I think that, perhaps, rewriting the thoughts of a fifteen year old as a twenty-two year old will give him some clarity. At least, I hope so.

So…here goes nothing;

This weekend, I was going through my closet, when I came across a few of my old diaries
I decided to flip through a few of them. What I saw scared the living daylights out of me.
I am growing up.
I am not the same immature child that I was three or four years ago.
I am not even the same person that I was yesterday!
I am not the same person that I will be in 10 hours
or 10 days…
10 months…
10 years…
15 years of my life have just flashed before me!
Twenty-two years of my life have just gone zooming by.
What.
The.
Heck.
Every person is constantly changing.
Reading the endless pages (because yes, they are definitely endless) of my childhood made me want to hide under the covers and never come out! (Yes, I am still doing that at twenty-two)
My whole life is flashing before me!
I just want to hit the pause button and enjoy what I have in front of me!
In a few years, I’ll be married with children! (That part still freaks me out).
AHHHHHHHH!!
Wait a second
Rewind
I have years until I have to worry about that. (Or, months…?)
But all of this revisiting made me think.
I have to pay attention to every detail of my life.
How beautiful each and every day is.
Taking life for granted isn’t something that should be done. 
Every single second of every single day of your life
should be taken with appreciation and happiness.
“Mode ani lefancha melech chai v’ kayam. Shechzarta b’neshamasie
bechemla rabba emunacecha”
So, take the time to appreciate your life, because there isn’t a pause button, or even a slow motion.
Life is moving all the time!

So, that was my fifteen year old self, with commentary from my present self. The more things change, the more they stay the same. I am still terrified of the future, perhaps even more so now than I was at fifteen. I was still pretty sheltered then, and fairly naive. I was still looking at the world with rose colored glasses. I still think the world is pretty rosy, just not as rosy as it was when I lived in my parents house, awaiting the day when I would be twenty-two and living on my own. The naive part may have shifted, if only a little bit, but the basic outline  is still there. Life is moving, all the time. It’s not stopping. It doesn’t pause for you, and it doesn’t wait for you to catch up with it either. Take every moment as it comes, and enjoy it. Jumping ahead to the unknown will not get you there faster, but it will mean missing out on what you have now. So, love now. Live now, and really love it. Embrace who you are, where you are, and what you have. 
Maybe taking advice from my past self isn’t such a bad idea after all…
Advertisements