21st Century Breakdowm

I believe I owe my non existent blog readers a post.
I have been away for a while.
I was taken away with the rushing current… the last month of school is always the most stressful.
And now
just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse…
we’ve been censored.
destroyed ( but not defeated).
We’ve been stripped of our rights to learn, to open our minds to bigger and better things.
No more AP classes
no more Literature

Teaching us was a huge mistake, they say.
Opening our minds was wrong.

I’ve had to deal with things like this since I became frum.
There was always someone out there that told me I was doing something wrong by wanting to expand my horizons.
So, I like to read.
So, I go to movie theaters.
So, I’m human…. but they have stripped me of what I care for the most.
Today, we learned that AP classes will not be offered to us next year, because they are too “controversial”
Anything that opens our minds to the big wide world is wrong.
Someone has always been there telling that what I am doing is wrong.
Reading books is wrong
getting an education is wrong
College? Totally out of the question
Ha. People ask me why I don’t feel like I’m “frum enough”
Is this a good answer?
And today
in the one place where I never thought such a thing would happen… it did.
No more learning…just text books and vocabulary words.
No more APs… to them it was a mistake to give us a normal education.

Now I realize more than ever that this issue is going to be something that is going to stick to me like glue.
I never imagined that it would follow me here…
our school is so free form, everything is so open and expressive…not anymore.
we came to this school because they offered the best of both worlds.
And while I enjoy my Judaic classes and all… it doesn’t seem fair.
I wish there were a way around this.
I’m not going to give up my passion just because the administrators have decided to censor our english class.
I’m going to continue to do what I love, even in the face of oppression.

So, this is how it is.
The end of a great chapter in my life.
a chapter that I am going to hold on to and take with me everywhere.
A part of my life that has influenced me in ways that even I don’t understand.
What will my life be like, walking into a classroom with a different teacher next year?
Who will I go to for all of my backwards questions?
Who will help us dig deep into a piece of literature in order to find true meaning?
What will we do without that doom stick cracking down on us every day?
I am going to miss that man and his ego

And now, I must find the silver lining…. I’ll let you know if that ever happens.

“The fact is that censorship always defeats its own purpose, for it creates, in the end, the kind of society that is incapable of exercising real discretion.” ~Henry Steele Commager