It’s Rosh Chodesh Kislev
In 5 weeks, I will be 16 years old
Help
Time flyin by, and I am trying really hard to stay in the same pace…
I always dreamed about this day… 16… 16 used to equal freedom
I am not really sure what it means now
In a way, it is freedom
5 hours after my birthday is over, G-D Willing I will be on a flight to New York for Chani’s wedding… the first time Noi and I will ever fly without the company of our parents or gaurdians over the age of 21… YES! True freedom. 3 days in New York ALONE right after my 16th birthday
I am scared as heck.
16
I am growing up
I am going to be allowed to become my own person… an individual
Thats a little bit scary
It has always been ” The twins” or “Leigh and Noi”
Now, we’re becoming separate people
And what scares me the most, is that I like that a lot
My own self… my own piano playing, melancholy, writer, photographer book worm self

So, change is kinda creeping up behind me… I am not a loud, out there drama queen anymore
I think everyones a bit surprised by that one… includiing myself
I LIKED being loud… heck I LOVED being loud. And being noticed
Now, quiet fills my days. Just me, a good book and some good ol’ classical music. ( At this point, perferably chopin)
It’s kinda weird. I don’t have much to say to anyone anymore
As my mother would say ” Ain Li Matzav Ruach”
Which is weird
But it’s change
And I am going to be 16
My own 16 year old self, in all my quiet, strange and awkward glory
Ya Gotta Love IT

Advertisements