Free Spirit

What has happened to me?
Who have I become?
A lier, a cheater and a bitter old woman.
Someone who is so afraid of the truth, or what other peoples reaction will be.
What sort of a life am I leading?

I want to be a free spirit again.
I do not want to be a bitter 65 year old woman in a 15 year old body.
I want to have fun
to fly
to be free from my seriousness
I want to be 5 years old
and not have the weight of the world crashing on top of me.
I don’t want my parents to be mad that their teenager daughter is crazy
or that I cannot break free of this.
I don’t want to be the adult among my childish friends anymore.
I want to be able to color and smile and spend all day in the grass looking for lady bugs without having to worry about homework or money issues, or which seminary I will go to, or which sort of a crazy guy will have the guts to marry me.
I want to fly away
step out of my cage and fly free
to be a spirit in the wind

I want to be 5 again.
And be free spirited.